Raise your hand if you know who William Wilberforce was/is

I sure don't. Sometimes his name shows up in articles, trivia games, or news reports and I still do not know who he is. You would think I would just google him. Nope, haven't done that either. But one article that mentioned his name talked about people who not only see the world as it is, but sees it as it could be. Among the names mentioned were Martin Luther King and Jesus. Not only do I want to be a kind of person who sees the world as it is and as it could be, but I also want to be the kind of person that does something about it. It's pretty vague, but its who I want to be. No mid-life crisis for me when I'm forty. No "integrity vs. despair" when I'm old enough to be a part of the Red Hat Society. I want to live in a way that when I look back on my life, I can be proud. Not of what I accomplished, but what I let God accomplish with my life. Gosh, I cannot wait to see what that is going to look like.

One more deep thought before I really get talking. 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 says.....
"Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. ²⁰To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. ²¹To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. ²²To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. ²³I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."

To the weak, Paul became weak, to win the weak. What does that mean?? Maybe William Wilberforce would know.

All right, here we go on some jennywisdom....
1. don't get a cat. patrick is cool, but he just put his butthole on my arm trying to sit on my laptop while i am typing this blog.
2. give lady gaga a chance. she's fascinating. almost all of her ridiculous and shocking behavior/outfits have some sort of message. look at it as a challenge to figure her out. it'll be like the game you can never win.
3. go to pondo. yep, i'm still saying it.
4. don't eat icecream by yourself when you are watching the superbowl. after you are done, you'll see one of the saint's cheerleaders all cute and skinny and feel bad about what you just did.
5. get a rice cooker. so you can cook rice.

i'm done. i'll just ramble if i keep going. have a great rest of your day whenever you read this. remember that God is happy with you. and if you know who william wilberforce is and he's actually someone i would be ashamed writing about, dont judge me. i really dont know who he is promise. but if he's awesome, then you are welcome.

RIP White Cheddar Mac and Cheese

So tonight, my roommate and I ate the last box of President's Choice White Cheddar Mac and Cheese. For those of you who are not aware, President's Choice White Cheddar Mac and Cheese is my absolute favorite. They stopped making it. Everywhere. I made sure. I used my "BarCode Scanner" app on my phone to try to find it and its barcode number is no longer recognized. So I had one more box and finished it off tonight. It is in moments like these that I become aware of what an anxious person I am. It took me about a half an hour to decide to eat the mac and cheese tonight because I didn't want it to be gone forever. My last bite was tragic. Here are other examples of my ridiculous (but sometimes normal) anxiety:

1. I HATE changing phones because I get attached to them. It's quite an ordeal.
2. I only use the ATMs.....bank teller anxiety.
3. From the two times Michael and I have had to say goodbye while I've been here in New Albany, I have cried. I am fine being apart from him, but the initial goodbye gives me anxiety.
4. I had two nose bleeds the first day of my internship because I was so anxious about it.
5. I'm having anxiety right now from telling you guys about my nosebleeds my first day.
6. I have to put two fingers on the car window when I drive over train tracks to avoid anxiety.

So to summarize what I've learned about myself this week, I'm an anxious person. Not anxious enough to be unable to function properly, but anxious enough to be slightly embarrassed about it.

I've had a great first week at my internship. I'm learning a lot about social work agencies, welfare, grants, and section eight housing.

I love living with Barb. Right now, we are finishing up a marathon of Jersey Shore. We haven't gotten out of our PJs all day.

I love love love going to spin class every morning at 5:30! It gives me more energy throughout the day and makes me feel good about myself. I recommend it to you. Seriously, do it.

Mom and dad came to visit this weekend for my birthday. We ate the best sushi EVER.

God is so so so very faithful. He has put me here and I could not be more grateful for it. I am growing and learning so much while having the time of my life. Its painful at times but I wouldn't trade these experiences for anything. Praise God for how faithful He is.

How wonderful, how marvelous is my Savior's love for me!

I'll leave you with this....

Things I could do without: Toilets with automatic POWER flush. Always seems to come 5 seconds to early...

I figured out my password! yessssss

So not to make excuses on why I haven't been writing any blogs, but I really could not remember my password! But don't fret everyone, I remembered it and plan to tell amazing tales of my time in New Albany, IN. Here's a short highlight list so far:

1. I officially moved in January 2nd. Michael helped us get my bunk bed up and shelves. Barb and I watched.
2. I grocery shop on my own.
3. I cooked a pot roast and orange chicken on my own. Along with roasted potatoes and vegetables. I'm still "getting to know my crockpot" (advise from my mother), so the chicken was a little overdone but still eatable.
4. I'm a member of the YMCA now! Spin classes at 5:30 AM....really not that bad and rather enjoyable.
5. Barb sings more than expected. I enjoy it more than expected.
6. I start my internship on Monday!
7. I'm applying to social work grad schools at ISU and University of Louisville (Louisville is looking more and more appealing as I look more into it)
8. I met for lunch with some of Barb's friends who have started a ministry to strip clubs. I'll start helping with that in February and couldn't be more excited about it!
9. I'm three and a half hours away from Molly.
10. I like Patrick (barb's cat).

K, that's all for now. And to those of you who give me crap about not blogging, quit it : )

"Don't look for big things, just do small things with great love..."

This quote, from Mother Teresa, spoke volumes to me this week. I've been at Pondo in California for the past week and I have one more week to go. This is the camp that I worked at last summer, and this past week was unlike ANYTHING I experienced last summer. The coolest thing is that there is NO WAY I can explain what happened and how I got through it with out talking about God and His incredible strength and love. I didn't come into this week looking for big things, but rather a small reason God allowed me to come to this mountain for two weeks. Just like Mother Teresa's advice, I tried to look for small things and do them with GREAT love. It was the most incredible week I have spent as a camp counselor.

I believe with full confidence that the campers in my cabin last week were placed there specifically by God. Its crazy how things worked out...sorry its so vague.

I'm pooped and can't really think straight, but this is my favorite place on earth. seriously.

My advice to you: Go to Pondo. Go to Pondo. Go to Pondo.

I'm one of those "fans of Michael Jackson after he died" fan

It's true. I love Michael Jackson. I love him so much that I call him MJ. My first love of MJ came when my BFFs Tiffany and Hope came to visit for Autumn's wedding. Hope and I watched MJ YouTube videos til 1:30 in the morning. Shelby and I learned MJ dance moves and from there I was hooked. I am convinced that MJ wasn't a pedofile nor did he have a perverted mindset about children. He's always been a little off and he should have abided more to societies' standard of what is appropriate and what is not. His childlike view of the world was innocent yet perverted by the public.

Many things have happened in the last couple weeks. Here are some highlights and deep thoughts.

1. Hope and Tiffany's visit only reinforced how much I need them in my life. I never realized how much I could love people I have only known for 1 year.
2. I sometimes visit this old man named Justus. He's 94 years old and surprisingly together. He can sometimes get borderline perverted which makes me uncomfortable and sad because it makes me not want to be his friend anymore. He doesn't follow Jesus and doesn't want to try. Please pray for courage for me to find an opportunity to share Jesus with him.
3. I'm currently in the Lake of the Ozarks with two of my best friends (Shelby and Krystin). We rented a jetski yesterday from a place so shady that I called Brooke with all the information in the event that we disappeared. It turned out to be the nicest family and a perfect experience.
4. I went to the DR for a week with a large (but small) group of high schoolers. I learned that I love having real conversations with people I hardly know. There's too much that happened on this trip to know what to write. Please ask me about it and I'll share more.
5. I want to learn more about Jesus, live more simply, love more unconditionally, and listen better. No joke.
6. I'm reading about Mother Teresa.
7. I'm too tan.
8. I miss my nephew. Sometimes when my friends and I talk about laying out, someone will say "I wish I were tanner." I reply, "TANNNNER! I miss him so much."
9. I wish I knew who read this blog so you should leave a comment. As of now, I know of Molly, Cherry, and Bre. Let's hope there's a couple more out there.
10. Just so I can end on an even number. I bruise easily in the Dominican Republic. And I want to take a self-defense class.

My advice to you: Whether its Mother Teresa or your best friend, learn more about someone who follows Jesus well. And before entering a shady situation, make sure you give all the details to your best friend to give to the police if you disappear.

Trafficking...I'll talk about it a lot.

I'm watching an MSNBC documentary on human sex trafficking in America. As I read more books and watch more shows on this issue, I become overwhelmed with so many different emotions. As always, here's a list of them.

1. sad sad sad. I'm an unusally optimistic and naive girl. It's been hard to comprehend the stories of the victims I am learning about, but one thing that I do comprehend is the sadness of it all. The injustice is unspeakable and I'm pray God gives me the ability and the words to communicate this injustice to those God places in my path.

2. disbelief. A fifteen year old girl reports she's been forced to be with over 200 men in the course of a couple months. Girls that get pregnant are forced to have abortions, many of them back door. It's disgusting and hard to learn about.

3. anger. This show talks about court cases with traffickers. A lawyer (we'll call him Hank), who was defending the trafficker argued that the girls being trafficked had the choice to say no, had the choice to leave anytime they want. I'm not drawn to feminism, and I won't argue any "men are pigs" viewpoint, but its absurd to think that any woman would want to endure such violence, abuse, rape, and enslavement. It's unreal that anyone would think this crime would be voluntary. Hank has a lot of nerve to call those women liars. I hate it.

4. compassion. I hope this emotion is from God...or else I won't be able to handle this path, it's too dark.

I can't say that I feel hope. not yet. I'm hoping through my education of this issue, I can find the hope in human trafficking. God won't stay silent, I know He can't and He won't. It's just a matter of time til I discover exactly what God is doing in regards to the injustice of human trafficking.

Until then, I'll keep searching, reading, listening, and learning.

My advice to you: do the same....and refuse the possibility of a hopeless world.

my super hero power would be time travel...

I get sad sometimes when I think about how much I miss last summer.

I don't like when people live in the past and don't look to the future. I want to be a person who lives in the moment God puts me in, but I'm having a hard time right now. I wish i could explain to you what last summer meant to me.

For those of you who don't know, I was a camp counselor at a camp in California called "Pondo". Everything about it was perfect and I made some of the best friends I have ever had. Now that it is summer again, I keep thinking of this time last year and all the experiences I had. I know God is honoring my decision to be in Bloomington this summer, but it still doesn't take away my longing to be back in last summer, with those people who I found to be some of the best people I know.

So in light of my current sadness, let's think about the exciting things this summer shall we? I think this calls for a list...

Awesome things this summer:
1. My already successful canoe trip with my best friends from high school (beth, shelby, KB). After making the mistake of laying out in the canoes instead of steering, we found ourselves in between these beaver dam things with snakes and spiders (Bob and Carol, we named them). Of course we laughed too hard and peed.
2. My garage sale this week! I need money for my DR trip so this is my last shot. I'll be making balloon animals....no charge...donations/tips accepted.
3. My DR trip! June 29-July 6 with 80 some high school students....mmmm.
4. Ozarks with my high school friends again!
5. Weddings! autumn, megan, bunting!
6. My advance group! I'm hoping to become a better leader for them.

I could write a lot more, but I'm still sad... I think its cause I'm watching "China's Elephant Man" on National Geographic and its about this man who has a disease where his entire face is a tumor. He's going to try to get surgery and there's always this intense instrumental music playing in the background. I just can't take it.

This summer is going to rock. I'm convincing myself still.

My advice to you: Go to california and when in doubt, make a list.