Trafficking...I'll talk about it a lot.

I'm watching an MSNBC documentary on human sex trafficking in America. As I read more books and watch more shows on this issue, I become overwhelmed with so many different emotions. As always, here's a list of them.

1. sad sad sad. I'm an unusally optimistic and naive girl. It's been hard to comprehend the stories of the victims I am learning about, but one thing that I do comprehend is the sadness of it all. The injustice is unspeakable and I'm pray God gives me the ability and the words to communicate this injustice to those God places in my path.

2. disbelief. A fifteen year old girl reports she's been forced to be with over 200 men in the course of a couple months. Girls that get pregnant are forced to have abortions, many of them back door. It's disgusting and hard to learn about.

3. anger. This show talks about court cases with traffickers. A lawyer (we'll call him Hank), who was defending the trafficker argued that the girls being trafficked had the choice to say no, had the choice to leave anytime they want. I'm not drawn to feminism, and I won't argue any "men are pigs" viewpoint, but its absurd to think that any woman would want to endure such violence, abuse, rape, and enslavement. It's unreal that anyone would think this crime would be voluntary. Hank has a lot of nerve to call those women liars. I hate it.

4. compassion. I hope this emotion is from God...or else I won't be able to handle this path, it's too dark.

I can't say that I feel hope. not yet. I'm hoping through my education of this issue, I can find the hope in human trafficking. God won't stay silent, I know He can't and He won't. It's just a matter of time til I discover exactly what God is doing in regards to the injustice of human trafficking.

Until then, I'll keep searching, reading, listening, and learning.

My advice to you: do the same....and refuse the possibility of a hopeless world.

my super hero power would be time travel...

I get sad sometimes when I think about how much I miss last summer.

I don't like when people live in the past and don't look to the future. I want to be a person who lives in the moment God puts me in, but I'm having a hard time right now. I wish i could explain to you what last summer meant to me.

For those of you who don't know, I was a camp counselor at a camp in California called "Pondo". Everything about it was perfect and I made some of the best friends I have ever had. Now that it is summer again, I keep thinking of this time last year and all the experiences I had. I know God is honoring my decision to be in Bloomington this summer, but it still doesn't take away my longing to be back in last summer, with those people who I found to be some of the best people I know.

So in light of my current sadness, let's think about the exciting things this summer shall we? I think this calls for a list...

Awesome things this summer:
1. My already successful canoe trip with my best friends from high school (beth, shelby, KB). After making the mistake of laying out in the canoes instead of steering, we found ourselves in between these beaver dam things with snakes and spiders (Bob and Carol, we named them). Of course we laughed too hard and peed.
2. My garage sale this week! I need money for my DR trip so this is my last shot. I'll be making balloon animals....no charge...donations/tips accepted.
3. My DR trip! June 29-July 6 with 80 some high school students....mmmm.
4. Ozarks with my high school friends again!
5. Weddings! autumn, megan, bunting!
6. My advance group! I'm hoping to become a better leader for them.

I could write a lot more, but I'm still sad... I think its cause I'm watching "China's Elephant Man" on National Geographic and its about this man who has a disease where his entire face is a tumor. He's going to try to get surgery and there's always this intense instrumental music playing in the background. I just can't take it.

This summer is going to rock. I'm convincing myself still.

My advice to you: Go to california and when in doubt, make a list.

aaaaaaaaand i blog.

I was in Nashville yesterday and told my friend Hope I was thinking about starting a blog. Her immediate response was "REALLY? What are you going to use?? xanga? blogspot? (insert about five more names of random blog sites)??? Little did I know how complicated blogging could be with all the choices I could choose from.

I'm still not even sure what kind of blog thingy I'm using. I'm starting to understand how my mom feels when she can't turn on the TV because there's 4 remotes to choose from. But I chose this site to use cause my BFFFFFFF (best friend forever forever forever forever...) Molly uses this one too. I'm fairly certain she's the reason I'm blogging and here's why:

After being BFFFFFs for about twenty years now, I think I've found out what makes a BFF and what can make you BFF. If someone were to ask me why Molly is my BFF, and I was being honest, I would tell them that it's because I want to be like her. We have both grown up a lot, especially since college, and as time goes on, Molly becomes more and more like a person I want to be. I think she would say the same thing about me (hopefully), but it's so true: Molly and I are best friends because we want to be like each other. Sure there are some odd things about her and some stupid stuff I do, but for the most part, I'd love to look more like her because she loves Jesus in such a unique way.

So that's why I'm blogging. Cause Molly does it too.

And my advice to you: Be someone that someone wants to be like.